As I’ve changed the layout the last week I also had to prune out some of the dead links specially in the link exchange/affiliates section. It was kind of shocking to see that of all the links I had when I first started this blog five years ago, only one blog link was still up and running.

I’ve been blogging since… 2002, back when I was in free hosts, then hosted on a subdomain, then finally had a domain of my own. I’ve met and got to know many individuals and personalities through the years. What happened to all my online friends who’s blogs I have been visiting? It makes me sad that everyone is gone and I’m the only one left. I truly hope I can find at least some of them some day and reconnect.

I guess there’s nothing left to do but go out there and make some new friends~

Oh, and… Happy Birthday to my brother!!!

There’s a distinct impression that I am looking around while standing still. And the realization is not because I’ve been standing still, rather, that I’ve hit the ground running years ago and never stopped running until now. I wasn’t even aware of it until now that things are standing still. Now that I have realized it, I am looking around trying to figure out where I’ve actually run off to.

And why I was running so hard in the first place.

I’ve run past everything years ago that now I have the time to look around, I don’t know where to go or what to do. Do I run or do I walk? Do I go forward, sideways, stray from the path? Though I can never go backwards.

Things that seemed important before don’t seem to matter now. Things that I never minded before take up most of my mind. How does one determine what is important?

I don’t want to go running anymore. I don’t want to walk either. I want to fly.

The main obstacle now is trying to find the courage to fly.

I’ve been trying to cut back on what I eat these past month, especially at night, so I could at least get back to my normal weight. I’m still a long way there but at least I’ve made considerable progress. And no, I won’t tell you how much I weigh or how much weight I’ve already lost. That’s just rude. XDDD

Anyway, I never thought that the process would have some weird side effects.

I had a dream the other day, about a box of doughnuts. It seems someone gave us a box of doughnuts and it was sitting on our dining room table. I went to it eagerly and peered at the contents. Lo and behold, I saw all the doughnuts with my favorite variants have somewhat been eaten and only one-fourth of the entire doughnut was left.

I went berserk.

I mean, who the heck eats just three-fourths of each doughnut? And my favorite flavors to boot? Are they deliberately taunting me?! The dream ends after I went berserk. I would’ve wanted to have seen what I would have done… gone into a homicidal rampage? Tore up the house? Alas, I woke up too soon.

And no, I haven’t eaten doughnuts for a while…

I’m still trying to find out the moral of this story…